Energy Vampires
We all have those students, parents or people who we avoid if we see them coming. We avoid them because we know as soon as they see us we will be in a 30 minute conversation full of their drama, bitterness and emotions. We know after the 30 minutes all we will be good for is falling asleep at our desk because they have just sucked the life out of us. Old school pastors call these people EGR (Extra Grace Required) people.
Over at Dumb Little Man they have a great article on how to protect yourself from “Energy Vampires” I like the way they put it because these kind of people “feed” off of everyone they come into contact with, they don’t really care if you care or listen, they just need to bring someone down with them to feel better instead of dealing with their issues.
My favorite excerpt:
5. Don’t give them too much time. When a Vampire walks into my office I stand as if I’m about to go somewhere. I’ll give them a few minutes and if I feel we’re heading down the same old path, I’ll start walking and shut the conversation down.
click here for the rest of the article…
What to Value in Ministry « Dan Stoffer
A good friend of my who is a middle school pastor has started blogging and has some really good things to say about youth ministry. Here is an excerpt from a recent post, he is on my subscription lists!
So those values listed are it. As my friend Brad says, “there’s nothing sexy about them.” However, these values encompass so much than is described above. We are still in the process of implementing these values and making them truly the life-blood of the ministry. I am hopeful that they will help me to focus on the right things with students and help to truly awaken and inspire them to the reality of God. I would love to hear your thoughts and/or critiques. Leave me a few comments. [From What to Value in Ministry « Dan Stoffer]
Tiny projects keep it new - (37signals)
In the ongoing and relentless schedule of ministry and it’s programs, larger projects (i.e. Easter, Summer Camps, Christmas, etc.) can easily lose their momentum and focus. Check out this article from the guys over at 37signals.com and how they keep large projects manageable and interesting.
The typical project starts out great but then our motivation and interest wanes as time goes on. It’s natural. Staying interested in a project over a long period of time is a challenge for anyone. The longer the project the thinner the tail. You’re not going to do your best work in the tail. [From Tiny projects keep it new - (37signals)]
Are you your ministry’s worst enemy?
Seth Godin has a great post below about how easy it is to let the demand or popularity of the moment kill your original purpose and direction over time.
This place, just about every place, has a shot at greatness, at becoming a destination, a place with profits and happiness and growth. Along the way, it’s easy to start compromising your marketing, because it seems like in that moment, it’s expedient. When this starts happening, the answer is not to do it more. Instead, it’s worth a full stop. Is this what you set out to do? Is compromising everything going to get you to a place that was worth the journey? Wouldn’t it be smarter to just stop selling trains and do something else (lottery tickets, even) but do it really really well. [From Seth's Blog: The long slide to gone]
One Last Episode - Josh and Tony are walking through new doors!
Well my friends it is time for this podcast to come to a close. Josh and I both are being called into new roles in our lives and the availability and energy to keep doing the podcast just isn’t there. If you haven’t heard Josh has been asked to be the Interim High School Pastor for Saddleback Church. This is a great opportunity for Josh. But if you were stepping into Doug Fields old shoes you would want to make sure nothing was distracting you as well! Pray for Josh and go over and congratulate him at his blog!
For me I have been feeling a call to do something different with social media and the church for a while but hadn’t been able to put my finger on it. Just recently I have had some great conversations with mentors and leaders in my area and have started to get a clearer vision to what it is God has be stepping towards. So I am in the process of planting a church, but one that is built from the ground up through the internet. I am still writing, talking and figuring out what that means, but I am going to start this spring with a website, weekly teaching that is a combination of sermon and small group, and community building. There is a landslide of thoughts I have on the subject and if you are interested in the church, the idea, think it is terrible, or whatever please let me know. I am focusing all my writing and thoughts about this church, ministry and other fun stuff at my blog www.tonystewardblog.com .
BUT! We still have one show that we have committed to back when we ran the contest for registrations to Group’s National Youth Ministry conference coming up this year. Scott Mullens show idea on “The 21 questions to ask while interviewing” is the show we are going to use to close the Who Are These Guys Podcast chapter. If you have any thoughts or ideas on this topic, and even if you want to be on the final show, then email me at steward.tony |at| gmail |dot| com .
As a parting note, I want to let everyone know how much Josh and I have appreciated your kind words and encouragements as we did this podcast. We honestly never thought so many of you would be blessed like you have and are thrilled that we were able to provide encouragement, insight and training for you and your ministries. Many of our podcast shows have been downloaded over 4,000 times and we know there is a community of around 300 people who were faithful listeners.
The website and podcast feed will stay live for a long time - and who knows maybe this will just end up being a pause on the show.
Thanks all and Blessings for you and your ministries! And remember that you have something to contribute to students, to your church and especially to other youth pastors!
Paul’s Advice to a Young Leader for 2008
I am currently studying through 1st Timothy and came across a classic piece of scripture that many young leaders in ministry like to point to, myself included. It is 1st Timothy 4:12 that says;
Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.
I think most of us get pretty frustrated when we are looked down upon as being too inexperienced, to “youthful”, or are just not taken seriously when we speak or contribute. But most of us stop there, we don’t look at the “rather” statement by Paul.
Paul’s advice to Timothy, who probably dealt with the same issues, was to focus on how to “show yourself an example of those who believe.” Paul was basically saying, what all of us have either heard or have been told, to not focus first on other people’s expectations. That we need to focus on who God is calling us to be and we need to follow that calling, especially in regards to the behavior we exhibit and the decisions we make.
The advice most of us have ever received usually stops there, with the generalization of putting God’s expectations first, and to not worry about people. Thankfully, Paul doesn’t stop there. Paul takes it the step further most of us have missed and gives Timothy some specific areas to focus on as a young leader in ministry.
The Five Essentials for a Young Leader:
Speech: A lot of times it isn’t so much what you say - but how you say it that shows wisdom or reveals foolishness. Or, it is if you say anything at all. Do you have the patience to say the right things at the right time?
[James 3:5-12, 1 Peter 2:1-3]
Conduct: This is a pretty obvious one, but how do you conduct yourself around others. Are you the one always stepping over the line in humor? When there is a large group serving, are you talking to people or putting yourself to action? First to come and last to leave, or just putting your time in?
[James 3: 13-18, Titus 2:1-5]
Love: What are your motivations? Are you reaching out to people in love or using them in ambition? Are people an interruption or an opportunity? Do you avoid the unsightly, poor and the “weird”, or are you drawn to them like Jesus was? What was the last truly selfless thing you did for someone (outside of ministry)?
[Luke 6:27-36, 1 John 4:7-21]
Faith: Who is your faith stirring you to be? 1 Timothy 3:9 describes faithful men as “holding to the mystery of faith with a clear conscience.” You don’t have to know everything, but do you believe in a way that is transparent and authentic? Are you clear about what you believe and is that a consistent element in the decisions you make?
[Hebrews 11, Matthew 21:17-22]
Purity: What does the morality in your dating relationships look like? If we could get your web browser alone and we interviewed it, what kind of things would we find out? How truthful are you at work? with your spouse? What kind of reactions do you have when your children mess up? Have you been faking the progress of sanctification for so long you don’t even know where to start living pure?
[1 Peter 1:13-21, 1 John 3]
I’ve been harsh on these questions and their assumptions because my experience has shown that not many people are willing to ask these sort of questions before something happens. But they usually have no problem putting them to someone the already know is guilty (no risk). If your desire is to honor your call, and is to “show yourself an example of those who believe”, then focus on these five areas of spiritual leadership. I have included some simple verses for each area for you to process. Take some time and journal through your thoughts, talk to God about how you are doing in each of them. It would be great to start the new year focused on taking Paul’s advice and seeing where it can take you.
LeadingSmart: Brand New Conference Announced
This seems like a pretty rocking idea for a conference - some of the same thinking I have been passing around with friends. Hmmm… now - how do I get there…
LeadingSmart: Brand New Conference Announced
(Classic Post) Avoiding the Mentality of a Victim
(This is a post from over a year ago when my family first came to California right on the heals of have everything we owned stolen in our Uhaul. The spiritual warfare has only gotten more intense and today I needed to hear this more than anyone.)
What my family and I have been through in the last couple of weeks has been certainly crushing and overwhelming. The affect it has had on us, both positive and negative, will probably stay with us in some sense for the rest of our lives. And I think it would be very easy to let this event define us as victims. That there is a temptation to hold on this great hurt just because of the attention, grace and fellowship we are receiving because of it. And don’t get me wrong, we need as much of that as we can get - but we can not, must not stay there.
We must pursue growing in our faith through this great wound into the character and people that God is calling us to be. To stay a victim is to not only give in to being a leech on the body of Christ, it is to deny and show a lack of trust in God’s power in your situation.
Plus, a victim mentality is one that accepts a helplessness, a powerlessness. Whereas, in our situation we have definitely needed help, but God has provided. And while we don’t know the person who stole our Uhaul, we know who was behind it. The attacks from satan have been obvious as we have made this jump to trust in God and follow his lead out to Southern California. Never in my life have the attacks from satan ever been so vivid and obvious, but I am not powerless against him. God is on my side, his is my heavenly father and my protector and my savior.
There are no victims in a war, but there are certainly deep wounds. Our family has been deeply wounded, and continues to feel the heat of war on the doorstep. And that directly correlates to the sense Mandy and I have had that God is up to something big in our lives.
So, as we continue to push on into this big hairy adventure God has us on, please pray for our protection. Pray for our faith and time in the Word. Pray for our little babies. Pray for our marriage. And pray that most of all, we will be able to bring glory to God through this. We have said from the beginning that if “this” is going to work it is going to have to be because God showed up and made it happen. If that isn’t obvious at this point, then as he continues to move it will be.
Learning from Nehemiah to fight HIV/AIDs
As I have been attending the Global Summit on AIDS and the Church this week I have been hearing details about the pandemic I had never heard before, I have been challenged in my faith and perception of compassion, and I have been processing the structure and strategies that have been presented in addressing the AIDs pandemic.Hearing that there are 33 million people in the world with HIV/Aids, that there are 12 Million orphans in Africa because of AIDS, that all it takes is medication that costs $4 to keep a mother with HIV/AIDs from passing the disease onto to her child at birth, and many other facts has prompted my heart to find a way that I can personally make a difference.
Even though I have always believed that the Church was God’s instrument to bring Hope to the world, I have never really thought it through and applied it to the major issues the world needs hope in. I felt this most during the session on “Traits of Real Leadership” by Rick and Kay Warren on the first day of the summit. Kay’s challenge to those at the summit was that you must be aware of what is going on, and then let your heart be stirred to be a advocate for the rejected, suffering, sick and poor who have no voice.It has been encouraging to hear the strategic approach of the “three legged stool”, where the Public sector, the Private sector and the Faith sector all have strengths that are essential to conquer the HIV/AIDS pandemic.
Senator Hillary Clinton spoke to this in her address during the session on the need for global leadership and how both a faith and works approach must be taken. She stated that faith without works is dead, referencing James 2:17, but that works with out faith isn’t sustainable - especially for the AIDS pandemic that will require a sustained effort across generations.This morning as I processed all I have heard and seen I realized how all of the teaching and strategies line up with the story of Nehemiah in the Bible. When you start in the first chapter you see Nehemiah being made aware of a catastrophe, the wall around Jerusalem was still in rubble 90 years after it had been destroyed - and all efforts to build it were pretty futile. The implication of this meant there was no protection for the people of Jerusalem, no security, no ability to rebuild the economy, no safety. Hearing this news breaks Nehemiah’s heart - and was cause for him to take action.
Through the rest of Nehemiah’s story he addresses building the wall through his government connections, getting all the resources he needs to build the wall in materials and support. He implores the action of people in Jerusalem to take action and build their piece of the wall at the same he points them back to their faith and Law of God. He even addresses the businessmen, to get them to stop charging people interest and to join in the process. If any one of these “sectors” would have been left out, the wall could not have been finished. All three had to be a part of the plan, but just as importantly it was Nehemiah’s faith and the faith of the people in Jerusalem that stirred them to action. Without their faith leading them, the wall wouldn’t have been finished.
For me this builds even more credibility into the message I hear coming from the Global Summit on AIDs and the Church. Even though it is new for the Church to be getting involved in addressing the AIDs pandemic - the approach being implemented is not new, but it is proven. Nehemiah became aware of a major issue, and let his heart open to how God could use him to lead an effort to address the issue. And through a “three legged stool” approach was able to do in 52 days what hadn’t been able to be accomplished in 90 years.Now it is our turn.
Three Primary Questions from the first day of the Global Summit on Aids and the Church
On the first day of the Global Summit on Aids and the Church there were three primary questions they sought to answer:
- What are the traits of a real leader?
- Who should be involved in the HIV/AIDS effort?
- Why should the Church be leading the AIDS effort?
It was an incredible day and I am looking forward to more!
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