SPECIAL! Josh Griffin and 3 Values when doing a Sex Series!
I caught Josh at In and Out Burger and got a chance to shoot this quick video - brilliant - check it out!
Episode 36: How to Pastor your Volunteers
This week Tom, Matthew and Scott all jump into a conversation with me about how to pastor volunteers. Lots of resources and time is spent on training volunteers, which a part of pastoring them. But often we forget the shepherding and encouragement that is necessary in really caring for people. How have you pastored your volunteers?
Hosts:
Tony Steward
Tom Reopke
Matthew McNutt
Scott Mullens
Show Notes:
- Andy Stanley
- Rick Warren
- “Help! I work with Hurting Kids!”
- Group’s Volunteer Central
- Bill Hybels - LEAD
- Group National Youth Ministry Conference
- Youth Specialties National Youth Worker Conference
Picks of the Week:
- Matthew: The New Breed by Johnathan McKey
- Scott: What Matters Most by Doug Fields
- Tom: Rick Warren at the Exponential Church Planting Confernce
- Tony: Revolution Wordpress Themes (for having your church site run on Wordpress)
Matthew McNutt: How to help a student prepare and give their testimony
Being up front every week, it’s easy for us youth leaders to forget just how terrifying it can be to speak in front of your peers when you’re not experienced with it. Just remember, in polls about people’s fears, death is second only to public speaking. You know the old joke; people would rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy! All that to say, how do we prepare and encourage our teens to take that step and start exercising leadership in front of the group? Set them up for success. Give them every opportunity to have a slam dunk and their confidence will grow, they will find joy in it and they will be ready to continue growing in this area. Here are the steps I take to insure their success:
Show them their potential.
I point out examples that I have noticed in their interactions with others that demonstrate leadership and public speaking potential. If they are outgoing, I praise them for it. If they are thoughtful in their words, I zero in on that. If they are a good listener, I talk about how they will be in tune with those listening to them because they are aware of others. I do everything I can to make them feel confident about their ability.
Require preparation.
I have them write out what they are going to say, whether it’s a prayer or a testimony. They don’t need to read it from up front if they are comfortable enough (they have it if their nerves get the best of them!), but I want them taking the time to specifically think through what they are saying. Being up front is a big deal and they need to appreciate that it warrants preparation.
Rehearse with them.
I go over it with them ahead of time! Anything I can praise I go after. Maybe I have some constructive advice, but for the most part I make sure that they know I am impressed with what they have put together. I want them feeling good about what they are going up front with.
Know your response.
When they’ve finished, I pump them up. It doesn’t matter if it was eloquent or had some mistakes - constructive advice will wait until the NEXT time. For now I make a big deal about it. If I can, I share in “big church” about how I was blessed by so-and-so’s testimony/prayer and how impressed I was that he/she was willing to get up in front of his/her peers and share. I publically praise the time they put into preparing and how I can’t wait to see what they will bring in the future, and I definitely let their parents know what a great job they did!
Holy Failure - Lee Nicholson
First I want to explain that I have been doing youth ministry for 15 years, grew up as a preacher’s kid, I have a 1st degree black belt in Soo Bahk Do karate with which I did a lot of fighting, I have been married to a wonderful woman for 12 years, we have two wonderful kids (one boy and one girl)…and oh yeah, I’m a follower of Christ who has fallen short of the grace of God daily. Within all that I have failed numerous times, more times than I would wish to remember. But within all those categories I have been successful. In fact, I would say I have been more successful because of the failures.
One of my favorite and painful memories was when I purchased my first car back in 1984. It was a rusty sky-blue Ford Pinto station wagon and it cost me $500. I remember this so well because it was one of the few times that I heard my mom and dad argue. My mom was annoyed that I was wasting my money on a very poor choice of a vehicle. But my dad had this “that will learn him” mentality. Well, in the end I did purchase the car and it was the most glorious six months of driving that I ever had before it became a monument in my backyard. Yes, I did learn that I need to be more frugal with my money and select cars with a little less road wear on them. But what my dad taught me was that I needed room to make mistakes, and that mistakes weren’t horrible as long as I learned something from them. In fact, after my realization that I was swindled on this purchase, I remember my dad saying , “Well, did you learn something?” I said, “Yes.” “Then it could have been a lot worse. Now take my keys and go get us some KFC.”
In youth ministry I have learned, too, that I need to allow youth to fail. I’m not talking about allowing them to run down the highway with naked abandonment, but encouraging youth to try new challenges. As a dad, I have had to watch as my kids fall when they first learned to walk, for if I held them up all the time, they wouldn’t have learned how to pull themselves up and try again. I have seen too many youth afraid to try again after failure; they have given up on themselves and have become hollow shells of what they could be. In fact, that hollowness becomes filled up with fear and anxiety regarding new experiences or planning for their future. They become so controlled by this anxiety that they end up making poor choices that result in the lifelong scars of negative consequences.
When I have seen youth be successful is when they have been empowered to try some aspect of leadership where it allows them to stretch themselves. They start seeing spiritual gifts that they never knew they had. In Durham, England, the youth wanted to start a worship service for their fellow peers. They all went to the same school but they either went to one of 15 churches in the area, or were curious about Christianity but had no forum in which to ask questions. I did the ground work in setting up a worship service in an 800-year-old church, with a band, data projector and screen, drama, the whole nine yards. But I didn’t do it myself; rather, I walked with them as they took turns leading. One area was leading worship. Once a month a new person had a chance to coordinate the music and practices. I would show up for the practices and support them to let them know they were not alone. They learned to plan, communicate that plan, listen to their fellow band members, reevaluate the plan using input from their peers, and sometimes manage conflict.
Things didn’t always go smoothly. One youth, we’ll call him “Nigel” (’cuz that’s a good British name!), was very talented at drama, but he often didn’t show up for the drama team’s practices and when he did, he didn’t remember his lines. I sat down with Nigel and asked him a series of questions: How do you think it went this week? What do you think you could do to make it run better? And so on. Nigel came to realize that he had been taking the gifts God had given him for granted, he had let the team down, and he hadn’t been a very good example of a Christian leader. We came to the agreement that he was going to take a few months off from the team and spend more time working behind the scenes. Over time he ended up being the first one at the church to set up for the service and the last one of the clean-up crew to leave.
Why is it called Holy Failure? Because, to be holy is to be other, other than what society expects one to be, other than what we expect ourselves to be. We have a relatively short amount of time with youth before they head off to sights unknown. So, what if we as youth pastors encourage a track record of not only succeeding, but also a track record of learning through mistakes? The mistakes would be in a safe place in the light of God. What would happen in the future? Only God knows.
Is this hard? Anything worthwhile is going to be hard. There is a certain mindset that is required to do this. That mindset is to:
- Bathe everything in prayer.
- Act boldly.
- Acting boldly requires risk.
- Risk annoys people. (Especially parents!)
- Learn from the mistakes that you make so you can lead by example. Show others that failure is not the end, but the beginning of learning.
- Be objective.
- Help youth to identify their mistakes.
- Don’t tell them their mistakes, but rather help them identify their mistakes with their own eyes. Ask questions, such as, “How could this event have been run better?”
- Don’t pressure or yell, but make sure that youth follow through on their plans.
- Be patient! This kind of patience comes from God.
- Love them as Christ loves them.
“My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)
Advice on having a Shapable Heart - Scott Mullens
When you are trying to find out what your spiritual gifts are, the first thing you need to address is the condition of your heart. Is your heart ready to handle God using you and calling you to obedience and action? Here is some ways to have a shapable heart:
- When you are looking at how you are to be used by God, you must understand the gifts God gives us. Once you understand those gifts, then you can fully be used by God and His way of doing things. This comes from reading His Word and praying for guidance and understanding.
- Being open is another way to have a shapable heart. When God gives you these gifts, if you are not open to what He is doing for you then he can work through you. God does not want the worst for you, He wants the best. Then if we are open to his will our heart will be ready to be shaped.
- Acceptance of God. When you are being used by God, you must be willing to do what God wants. This is very hard to do. We want to be in control. This is human nature to have control over all of our lives. But if we are willing to let God lead us we will be able to be used by Him.
These three ways are what I work with every day in my acceptance of what God wants for my life. My heart is ready to be used but it took a long time to have a shapable heart, and the journey never really ends.
This is a guest post by Scott Mullens. He has been a youth pastor for over 15 years and is a frequent host on the Who Are These Guys Podcast. To see what else Scott is up to check out www.iworkwithyouth.com.
Episode 35: How to help your students discover their spiritual gifts
No body panic, but here is a new podcast on time! Thanks to Tom, Scott, Lee and Matthew for all showing up and talking about how to help students discover their spiritual gifts. We also talk about the new Facebook chat feature and as always our picks of the week!
Special thanks to our new show sponser YouthMinistry.com. This week’s show is specifically sponsored by Congratulations You’re Gifted,C by Erik Rees and Doug Fields. If you leave your suggestions on how to help students discover their spiritual gifts in the comments section then you could win a free copy of Congratulations You’re Gifted!
Show Notes
- Lifeway Spiritual Gift Survey
- Skype
- Off the Map - Jim Henderson (author of Jim and Casper go to Church
- Living Your Strengths
- Strengths Finder
Pick’s of the Week
Tom’s Pick: Flip Video Camera and Flip Software for Mac
Lee’s Picks: The Present Future and Jim and Casper go to Church
Scott’s Pick: animoto.com
Matthew’s Pick: The Journal of Student Ministries - Youth Specialties
Tony’s Pick: Congratulations You’re Gifted - Erik Rees and Doug Fields
Host Links
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